The energy I felt today, I have not felt in over a year. Overwhelming, uncontrollable, taking over your entire body type of energy. Energy that just will not quit. Jumping around, bouncing off the walls, unable to control yourself energy. Wouldn't it be great if you could get that kind of energy from going to work?
Well I do.
And I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be able to say that at 22, I am doing exactly what I want to be. With an economy that has some of my more applied, better educated and better spoken friends still trying to find work. In a time where positivity and hope are endangered, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing and I leave work knowing that I gave my students my all. Honestly, in a nation forcing individuals to navigate so many unjust and broken systems, what is better than that?
I can truthfully say I went to work today, and gave it my all. I pray that I was able to reach my students, but if not, tomorrow is a new day, with a whole new bucket of said "all" that I will be giving to those young people. I am 22 and doing exactly what I know I should be doing.
And it's a great feeling.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Today I went to the first meeting of the new year for NYU's Chapter of the Gates Millennium Scholars. I shook the hands of important people on campus, plugged the college advisement program I am now employed by, and got some networking done!! "Fake it til you make it" is my professional motto- No matter what is going on mentally, you put on your face, go into the room, and own it. People are counting on me, and knowing that has always pushed me through.
But what is really on my mind today is the reason why I graduated college. For three weeks I have been training, talking, discussing, etc issues of college access and achievement. Learning how I am going to cope with students from hectic backgrounds, where parents are absent, money is tight (if existent), and hope dies young. Students from places just like me.
I have never been good and discussing my academic or personal struggles. Coming to NYU made me want to hide them even more, as a means to fit in amongst the IMMENSE wealth that surrounded me. But something I was never shy to discuss was the help and determination of my own mother. I will never quite understand how she juggled all that she did, but she made it work and I know that she was my edge- she was the reason why made it to the places I am now. So many young people don't have their own Suzanne, but I was lucky enough to. When students ask me how I got to college, I say "My Mom."
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of her passing. I went to work, ran errands, moved into my new apartment with my roommate, and tried to put that smile on my face, because no matter how hard this past year has been, I was lucky enough to have 21 years of the best support a girl could hope for, and it humbles me to realize that as problematic as growing up can be, I was given so much more than so many others.
So as I continue to "fake it til I make it" and push myself through knowing that people are relying on my ability to be confident, productive, and concentrate, I felt it of great importance to at least acknowledge the gift I was given for so many years of my life and remember how important the work I will soon be doing is to her, myself, and the community.
If I can pass along even an ounce of the love and support I received to my new students, I know amazing things will happen. My siblings and I are all proof of that.
But what is really on my mind today is the reason why I graduated college. For three weeks I have been training, talking, discussing, etc issues of college access and achievement. Learning how I am going to cope with students from hectic backgrounds, where parents are absent, money is tight (if existent), and hope dies young. Students from places just like me.
I have never been good and discussing my academic or personal struggles. Coming to NYU made me want to hide them even more, as a means to fit in amongst the IMMENSE wealth that surrounded me. But something I was never shy to discuss was the help and determination of my own mother. I will never quite understand how she juggled all that she did, but she made it work and I know that she was my edge- she was the reason why made it to the places I am now. So many young people don't have their own Suzanne, but I was lucky enough to. When students ask me how I got to college, I say "My Mom."
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of her passing. I went to work, ran errands, moved into my new apartment with my roommate, and tried to put that smile on my face, because no matter how hard this past year has been, I was lucky enough to have 21 years of the best support a girl could hope for, and it humbles me to realize that as problematic as growing up can be, I was given so much more than so many others.
So as I continue to "fake it til I make it" and push myself through knowing that people are relying on my ability to be confident, productive, and concentrate, I felt it of great importance to at least acknowledge the gift I was given for so many years of my life and remember how important the work I will soon be doing is to her, myself, and the community.
If I can pass along even an ounce of the love and support I received to my new students, I know amazing things will happen. My siblings and I are all proof of that.
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