"So... what are you?"

I figured I should give a little explanation of my blog title.

One of the most difficult things I have dealt with during college was my race. In my family, it never really mattered. So my older brother is white... okay. So my little sisters are black.. okay. So my white brother calls my black father "Pops." This is all far too normal for me. Why are we reacting like this is odd? Oh... because I guess to the rest of America it is. Hmm...

Every week, multiple times a week, someone tries to slyly figure out my race. Now that I am privy to this, I actively try to deflect. In New York, they do it in a very amusing way I will call The East Coast Method. This method is executed by people of all ages, sexes, and racial backgrounds, without fault. The method is deployed as a means to confirm peoples beliefs that I am Latina, generally Dominican.

Example:
Guy: So... Where are you from?
Bri: Michigan...
Guy: Oh, I mean, where were you born?
Bri: Michigan.
Guy: I mean, where were your parents from?
Bri: Michigan and Texas...
Guy: Oh, I didn't know there were Dominicans in Michigan...

And Fail...

Now you would think with Obama being President... But I digress

In Argentina, people generally assumed I was Colombian, since I was lighter, and spoke pretty clear, un-oddly-accented Spanish. I distinctly remember a conversation with a cabbie who was arguing with me about how it was impossible that neither of my parents were Colombian. Trust me sir, they are as far from Colombian as you can be...

When I first came to New York, I did not understand why people assumed I was Latina. In Michigan, I never had this issue. For the most part, people knew I was half, or just assumed I was. But here, it's the opposite. I feel like a rare breed, almost an endangered species- Speaks proper English but "dances like a real black girl," college graduate but might be spotted in a fitted on any given day, not Latina but speaks Spanish... I understand why people would be confused. 

My point with all of this is that my views, experiences, and education have been very much influenced by my racial background and peoples perceptions of/reactions to it, which has made negotiating my place in any space complex. Especially as a person who identifies as both of her races, things are a little trickery. Would things be easier if I negated my whiteness? Perhaps. Would life be more enjoyable if I ignored my blackness or allowed myself to consistently pass as Latina? Who knows.

But being raised by a dedicated, single-parent of 36 years, who obtained a Bachelors degree with two young children and no family help or father to be seen, who happened to be a beautiful, fair skinned woman, I have never been able to reject that part of me, which so many others find so easy to do.

To use the words of John Sexton, my life is a "complex cacophony." And though I cannot promise my ramblings will end definitively or make sense, they will come from the heart, as everything should.